


Don't pretend you ever forgot about me, 'cause I won't fight fair.

by BatteryRoulette



Series: Bandom Tumblr AUs [1]
Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dorks, F/M, Frerard, I am Petekey trash, M/M, Multi, Tumblr AU, petekey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 06:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3967078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatteryRoulette/pseuds/BatteryRoulette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some sort of version of the "Fuck my ex just walked into the restaurant with their new girlfriend/boyfriend could you pretend we’re dating so they don’t think I’m hung up on them I swear I’ll pay you later" AU Tumblr prompt. Kind of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't pretend you ever forgot about me, 'cause I won't fight fair.

Why did I let Frank drag me to this party?  
"It'll be fun" he said.  
"We'll party 'til you pass out, and then you'll wake up, three days later, in a stranger's bed, wearing woman's underwear" he said.  
I should have known he was going to ditch me to go stick his tongue down his boyfriend's throat.  
But he could at least have introduced me to someone.  
Isn't the point of getting your depressed friend -who hasn't really left the house since he and his boyfriend broke up- to go out so he can have a good time?  
Seriously, tho. I knew Gerard was going to be here, yet, as always, I ignored my common sense.  
I could be at home, watching Pulp Fiction or something right now. I could be writing songs. I could be sleeping. I could be binge watching Breaking Bad whilst eating three times my body weight in Doritos, felling sorry about myself, and pouting over my ex-boyfriend, wallowing in my own self-pitty.  
But no.  
I'm here, standing all alone, at my best friend's boyfriend's brother's friend's party. What am I even doing here? Oh, that's right. I'm going to find Frank, maybe dump a tub of nacho cheese on him, and tell him that I'm going to go home.  
But no.  
Just when I want to leave, HE has to show up. Of all the people in New York, my fucking ex-boyfriend has to show his stupid little angel face at my best friend's boyfriend's brother's friend's party. And, oh, would you look at that! He's making out with a girl now.  
Wait a minute, is that Elisa? Great. Just GREAT. He left me for his female best friend.  
I start to walk (run) further into the house, looking for a way to escape without either of them seeing me.  
Suddenly, I walk into a very tall (but then again, almost everyone is very tall to me), very bony someone.  
"Oh, fuck dude! I am so fucking sorry!" I apologize, offering him a hand, and helping him off the floor.  
"It's fine. Really. I get knocked over a lot. Tall and uncoordinated? Not fun." he smiles a little smile. Ok. Very tall, very bony, very cute someone with incredibly dorky glasses.  
"I wouldn't know. I have a shorter fall. The only perks of being tall is that you have time to Matrix the shit out of falling." I point out, trying not to sound too nerdy.  
"Good point. I've got to try that some day. My brother would like you." he laughs. "I'm Mikey, by the way." he adds, sticking out his hand.  
"Pete" I smile back, shaking his hand.  
"So, Pete, what brings you here? Is it fame? Glory? Riches beyond your wildest dreams? A certain young maiden that stole your heart and was captured by a pack of wild Orcs?" Mikey jokes.  
"No. Sadly, my life is not a game of Dungeons and Dragons. I'm just at my best friend's boyfriend's brother's friend's party." I reply, dramatically.  
"Well, you're no fun at all." he pouts. "So, tell me, Pete Who's Life Isn't A Game of D&D, what exactly are you doing, running into people at your best friend's boyfriend's brother's friend's party?"  
"Um, I was dating this guy, and it was great and all. That is, until he left me. For his best friend. His best friend that's a girl. His best friend that's a girl who he was just sucking face with."  
"Yeesh."  
"Yep. And I'm still kinda hung up on him. So my best friend was all like 'duude you've barely left the house in like a month. Where's that party animal I know and love? We're going out tonight! there's this guy I know who's got this friend who's throwing a party, and it's going to be great. We're gonna party 'til you pass out, and then you'll wake up, three days later, in a stranger's bed, wearing woman's underwear' which is what you need after a bad break-up. A dude's night out. But his boyfriend's here, 'cause he's apparently the party-thrower's friend's brother, and they totally ditched me and probably went to fuck somewhere, and then I saw my ex here, and then I ran into you, and I'm rambling and you probably hate me now, and you probably think that I'm creepy, and I'm just going to walk away now." I finish, and start to walk away.  
"Pete, wait! You're not rambling at all. It's fine. You probably don't want to tell your friend about this 'cause you don't want to ruin his night, 'cause I'm sure that he wanted you to have a good time. SO now, I'm going to make sure you have a good time. You seem like a cool dude. Well, that's as much as I can gather from your Joy Division shirt, and the fact that you most likely play D&D. Besides, who seems more like a serial killer? The tattooed guy that runs really fast and is kinda like a ninja, or the dude with a shirt that says 'Don't Google Yourself', the constant pokerface, and the psychopathic grin? Ok, scratch that, we're both likely serial killers" he ends the sentence with a growing smile on his face, clearly amused at his own train of thought. It's really contagious, and I can't help but smile, too.  
"We can form a bond over our shared interest in manslaughter." I joke.  
"We'll roam the country, the not-really-Winchester not-really-brothers that kill people instead of demons." Mikey suggests.  
"We'll lour young people into our deadly traps with our baffling looks and sharp tongues."  
"We'll make meth to pay the bills, and start our own mob of serial-killing ninjas."  
"Oh fuck!" I exclaim, as I see Patrick and Elisa walking towards us. I got distracted whilst talking to Mikey, and now, I have no chance of escape, as they've clearly seen me.  
"What is it?" Mikey asks, concern evident on his face.  
"Hey, Pete!" Patrick smiles, now standing next to us. Fuuuuck.  
"Oh, hey Patrick. Elisa." I give each of them a small nod.  
"Who are these short, short people, and why have you not introduced them to me yet, Peter?" Mikey inquired, feigning shock.  
"Dude, almost everyone's shorter than you. That's Elisa, and that's Patrick" I introduce them. "You know, Patrick, that guy I told you about"  
"Oh." he said, voice harsh, face suddenly going cold, and back to it's natural pokerface state. "So THAT's Patrick."  
"Ah, I see." Patrick pursed his lips. "And who may you be?" he raised an eyebrow in a defiant way.  
"Oh, he's-"  
"I'm Mikey. Pete's boyfriend." Mikey replied monotonously, in the same fashion as before. I tried to stay calm, as if an incredibly hot dude I'd just met hadn't just told my ex that he was my new boyfriend.  
"Oh, ok then..." Patrick trailed off, clearly surprised that I'd gotten over him. Elisa just looked uncomfortable.  
"So, how are things going for you, Patrick?" I'm sure I sound way happier, but what can I say? Having a hot new boyfriend -even if he is a pretend one, and may only turn out to be a friend- does that to a guy.  
"Ok. Ok, I guess. The store's doing good. I'm thinking of writing some songs. Me and Eli are dating now." Patrick's starting to sound a bit uncomfortable now. "How about you?"  
"Oh, things are great. Frank's in a new band, so he's not single and mopey over that one guy anymore. He also moved out, so I've got the place to myself, which is awesome for watching movies or playing music really loud. Me and Mikey are even thinking of starting a new business together." I smile, trying to make him even more uncomfortable.  
"Oh, really?" Patrick asks, trying not to sound as if he wanted to be anywhere but here.  
"Yes. We're thinking of starting our own murder business. Going around the country, killing for people with an old family friend and a closeted gay dude, maybe start making meth, running away from a wild pack of Orcs...Who knows, really? For now, we're just enjoying Pete's best friend's boyfriend's brother's friend's party. Maybe we'll wake up in a roadside motel on Tuesday, dressed in women's underwear, with 50 pounds of weed shoved into our bras. Like I said before, who knows?" Mikey says, hopefully.  
"Oh my god Mikeyyyyy! You remembered all of that?!" I exclaim, trying to sound like a stereotypical white preppy girl from a chick flick.  
"Okaaay then. Me and Eli are gonna go...find a friend of ours that was supposed to be here....um...If you see a dude with half a pink afro, can you tell him that we're looking for him? His name is Joe Trohman" and with that, they leave.  
We stand there in silence for a while, and then we start laughing our asses off.  
"Oh my god, dude! The look on his face when you told him that you were my boyfriend!"  
"And when I started making all of those Supernatural, Breaking Bad, and D&D jokes. He must be so confused!"  
After a while, Frank and Gerard walk up to us.  
"Hey, Wentz! I see you've made a friend!" Frank smiles, and Gerard and Mikey look very confused.  
"No thanks to you, Iero! You totally abandoned me! And then Patrick came!" I exclaimed.  
"What?! You've got to be bullshitting me!" he stares at me, incredulously.  
"I'm not! And now he thinks that this guy that I crashed into -who's name is Mikey, by the way- is my boyfriend, and that we're going to become meth-making assassins or some shit like that that Mikey made up, and he's dating Elisa, but he looked so fucking confused and uncomfortable. It was hilarious. You should seen it!" I beam at the three.  
Gerard doesn't seem that confused anymore, but Mikey still does.  
"Dude, we know who Mikey is." Gee giggles.  
"He's Gee's brother! My Chem's bassist?" Frank smiles.  
"Oh my god. You're the guy that they've been wanting me to meet." I stare at Mikey.  
"I'm the best friend's boyfriend's brother. Wait a minute, you two are dating? I thought it was just casual face-sucking..." Mikey stares at us in disbelief.  
"Michael!" Gerard gasps, trying to sound appalled, smacking Mikey's shoulder, but a small smile starts to form on his face.  
"Well, me and Gee are going to go do...things....somewhere. You two get to know each other. Call us when you want to have a double-date!" Frank says, as he ushers Gee somewhere.  
"And now I have that image in my head." Mikey sighs. "Well, you should give me your number. For, you know, moral support for when those two are being an unbearably disgusting, albeit cute, couple, don't you think?"  
"Yeah. Yeah, I'll need lots of moral support. I'll give you my address, too, in case you need to get out for a while, whilst those two do things." I suggest.  
"Yes, that will be very necessary." he nods his head, seriousness in his voice, but a playful gleam in his eye.  
We exchange phones, and continue talking.

And yes, maybe we'll start our own murder business, and go around the country, killing for people with an old family friend and a closeted gay dude.  
Maybe we'll start making meth.  
Maybe we'll get to run away from a wild pack of Orcs.

And maybe, maybe we'll even wake up in a roadside motel on Tuesday, dressed in women's underwear, with 50 pounds of weed shoved into our bras.

Who knows, really?

For now, we're just enjoying my best friend Frank's boyfriend Gerard's brother -and possibly, my future boyfriend- Mikey's friend's party.

**Author's Note:**

> I am Petekey trash. I'm not even going to try to deny it.  
> Yay over-used AUs!  
> I really hate Asshole!Patrick, tho. It's just for plot purpose. I actually love that little ball of sunshine.
> 
> Stay alive  
> -May


End file.
